It's a well-known fact that Dave Dombrowski is trolling around for a reliever at the deadline. It could be a closer; it could be a 7th inning guy; heck, it could be a new and better Phil Coke. However, every option you can think of stinks.
Tim Lincecum- Sure, a two-time Cy Young winner wants to move back to the bullpen. Oh wait, he doesn't. Besides, why would Detroit add $8 million in payroll AND pay in prospects?
Jonathan Papelbon- Paying Martinez-type money for a guy who pitches 70 innings a year with declining peripherals? Nope.
Francisco Rodriguez- He's pitched well so far, but the sample size is still small for his season. Valverde was good at first, too.
John Axford- Yes, let's trade for a guy who was so awful he lost the closing job by Memorial Day. He'll really lock down that back end.
Tom Gorzellany- He's not good enough to start, but nobody in Milwaukee wants him setting up. Swingmen and long relievers do not scream "Bullpen Savior" to me.
Casey Janssen- He's not available. The Blue Jays would be dumb to trade him. I could see the same going for Sergio Santos and Brett Cecil.
Steve Delabar- This clown couldn't find the strike zone earlier this year. Excuse me for not buying four starts worth of good over that underlying bad.
Glenn Perkins- Minnesota won't trade him for less than Castellanos. Yeech.
Jesse Crain- Jesse Crain is a White Sock. Jesse Crain served up a walkoff home run to Miguel Cabrera in 2011. Not only would trading for Jesse Crain ruin any future "Crainwreck" jokes, it would also deny us a valuable oppurtunity to say "CRAM IT HAWK."
Brandon Lyon- If you've been DFA'ed by the Mets, I won't touch you with a 29 and a half foot pole.
Bobby Parnell- The Tigers don't really need another righty who throws really hard and has issues finding the strike zone. Brayan Villarreal is still in Toledo.
Jose Veras- Of course his stats look good. He's the closer for the Astros. He's appeared in about 8 games this season.
Steve Cishek- Same as Veras, with half of the oppurtunities.
Ryan Webb- Does Detroit really need another pitcher who doesn't fare well against opposite-handers? One Phil Coke is enough for a bullpen. Actually, it's one too many.
James Russell- If I haven't heard of James Russell, he can't be all that good. On top of that, he would bring the losing stink from the Cubs and will another 60 years without a title.
Clearly, from what we've seen, the relief market sucks. Detroit can either pony up for Luke Gregerson, or they can do my personal preference and make Don Kelly the new ROOGY.
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